_______________________________________
/ A novice was told by the Abbot:       \
| "Consider the goat and the rabbit.    |
|         While they roll in the hay    |
|         You just stay home and pray.  |
\ You've got to get out of that habit." /
 ---------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 ______________________________________
/ A bather whose clothing was strewed  \
| By breezes that left her quite nude, |
|         Saw a man come along         |
|         And, unless I'm quite wrong, |
\ You expected this line to be lewd.   /
 --------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 _______________________________________________________
/ The world is so full of a number of things,           \
| I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.          |
|         I'll tell you a story--                       |
|         It won't take me long--                       |
| Of a brother and sister whose tale is my song.        |
|                                                       |
| There was an old fellow and what do you think?        |
| He lived on the cheese that he scraped from his dink. |
|         He whacked it, he hacked it,                  |
|         He ate it with glee-                          |
| Was there ever a fellow so happy as he?               |
|                                                       |
| This charming old chap had a sister as well :         |
| She was ugly and gaunt, with a horrible smell.        |
|         Her cunt was so dirty                         |
|         It stank like a beast,                        |
| And the odor killed flies as they gathered to feast.  |
|                                                       |
| What a wonderful family!  What marvellous style!      |
| I'll bet you and I aren't close by a mile.            |
|         Their odor and diet                           |
|         Won't soon be forgotten,                      |
\ And one day you and I may be equally rotten.          /
 -------------------------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 ________________________________________________
/ In my sweet little Alice Blue gown             \
| Was the first time I ever laid down,           |
|         I was both proud and shy               |
|         As he opened his fly                   |
| And the moment I saw it I thought I would die. |
|                                                |
| Oh it hung almost down to the ground,          |
| As it went in I made not a sound,              |
|         The more that he shoved it             |
|         The more that I loved it,              |
\ As he came on my Alice Blue gown.              /
 ------------------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 _______________________________________
/ A broken-down harlot named Tupps      \
| Was heard to confess in her cups:     |
|         "The height of my folly       |
|         Was diddling a collie-        |
\ But I got a nice price for the pups." /
 ---------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 ________________________________________________
/ A software technician from Digital             \
| Had hardware extremely prodigical.             |
|         It's rumoured, I hear,                 |
|         That when he was near                  |
\ He made the ladies all flustered and fidgital. /
 ------------------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 _________________________________________
/ A wanton young lady from Wimley         \
| Reproached for not acting quite primly  |
|         Said, "Heavens above!           |
|         I know sex isn't love,          |
\ But it's such an entrancing facsimile." /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 _____________________________________
/ A princess who lived near a bog     \
| Met a prince in the form of a frog. |
|         Now she and her prince      |
|         Are the parents of quints,  |
\ Four boys and one fine polliwog.    /
 -------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 ________________________________________
/ The Dowager Duchess of Spout           \
| Collapsed at the height of a rout;     |
|         She found strength to say      |
|         As they bore her away:         |
| "I should never have taken the trout." |
\                 -- Edward Gorey        /
 ----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

			

 _____________________________________
/ A delighted, incredulous bride      \
| Remarked to her groom at her side : |
|         "I never could quite        |
|          Believe till tonight       |
\ Our anatomies would coincide."      /
 -------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||